I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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