I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
