hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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