Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
