I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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