I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So vagazzling was a success
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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