my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
only if we run a train.
done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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