and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
