Ketchup is God's man juice
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Enjoy the penises
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
