We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
high people should be assigned attendants
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
