Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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