I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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