did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
