Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
