Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
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He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
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Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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