she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
