when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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