he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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