The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
