i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We have so much sex to catch up on
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
