You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
