dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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