If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
