Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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