Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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