It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
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