I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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