Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She tied me up with her honor cords...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
