His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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