I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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