i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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