he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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