I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
