If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
