Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
