Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
