after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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