Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
