My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
