No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
