It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
