I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
