last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Drunk is not a location!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
