i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
