I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
