his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
