Moan for me like Helen Keller
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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