Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
