I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My penis needs a shock collar
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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