never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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