Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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