I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
