i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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