im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
