Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
