Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
