ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
