I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
