Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
